Week one alone? Check. Night one alone? Disaster. The wife loooooves the Resident Evil movies. <insert melodramatic sigh here> Because I am a fantastic wife and give generously of my time *maniacal laugh*, I agreed to watch the most recent one with her. Big mistake. HUGE. Not only did I spend that first night alone (shaking, with the covers pulled up to my chin, peeking out over the edge) with the lights in the kitchen, hallway, living room AND bedroom on, I have since established the following routine upon entry to my home:
I stalk up the stairways (babbling TOT in arms- that should scare ANY zombie apocalypser wannabe away!), and stealthily (ha) unlock the door. Really, I must be attempting quiet so I can get a *one up* on these zombies, gain the upper hand and be able to freely launch myself and my TOT out the 2nd story window should they try to eat my brains. Yep. Moving along. I quiet the riotously barking Dogs of Terror (.....about that upper hand), set the TOT down and prepare to search the premises. Deep breath. Now is when I start throwing myself into rooms with a big *AHA!!, GOTCHA!!*. Yeah, that's gonna scare those zombies! Once I have determined all rooms clear and zombie free, I go about the rest of my evening with TOT and DOTS. One night, I even considered going to bed with a butcher knife. Yes, really.
Now, I think of the worst imaginable scenarios possible and make myself miserable. Sounds fun, right? Since that first night though, I have tamed down my light usage to the lowest setting on the touch lamp in the bedroom and a lamp in the living room. That's reasonable right?
Sweet Baby Jesus, I'm pathetic.
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